Dreams &Things

It's really quite ridiculous the dreams I've been having lately. They're so vivid, and lifelike, but at the same time absolutely INSANE. I don't know what's going on in my head, but in these dreams so many people die and it's starting to get depressing. I wish I could describe the one I had last night because it was ridiculous, but I do remember the ending.

Someone was coming either to kill us or take us away or burn our house down with us inside...or something. And I'm freaking out and my mom is upstairs huddled on this couch we have in the hallway. I curl up with her because we're so afraid. All of a sudden the doorbell rings and it's my dad, accompanied by "The Beatles." Now it's not really the Beatles...because for one Morgan Freeman was George. Anyway, they check our house for bugs and everything, but everything seems fine.

This is all I remember really distinctly, but a whole bunch of shit happened that I can't even explain that I can see going on in my head. The dream I had two nights ago was just downright scary...there were people cutting themselves and getting lost in some ice cave place....just weird shit. Like I said, I have no idea what's going on in my head but it's getting really weird.

Anyway, it's hump day in the middle of my third week back at college. I should be doing laundry right now, but apparently 9:00 on a Wednesday morning is prime time to do laundry so I haven't gotten a chance yet. Academically, school's been pretty okay. I kind of feel like a slacker because at the moment I'm only taking three classes--Biochemistry, Genetics, and a Crusades class--but, seriously? It's Biochem and Genetics. Two of the hardest classes in the Bio department. Nonetheless, I still feel like a little bit of a slacker. I think it's because the work really hasn't started to pick up yet and I've been able to get it done quickly. I do have my first Genetics exam coming up and a paper in the Crusades class due next week, so there's that. Socially, school's been wonderful. I've been getting off campus to do work with my lovely friends...coughspendingtoomuchmoneycough...and driving my cute little car places. Nick visited last week and we had a GREAT fun night playing scrabble with some really awesome chicas ;]. I hope that happens more often because it really was a lot of fun. I'm going back to visit him this Friday and hopefully seeing my baby horsie on Saturday.

So life's pretty good. Fencing's a pain in the ass, but that's a whole other story. Now I need to print out some readings for next week [to have something to do on my Stephanie&Alyssa Wednesday] and hopefully do laundry! Grr...

ciao!

EDIT: iTunes just made me this GENIUS GENIUS playlist. It's amazing. It kind of puts me to shame....

1. Re: Stacks - Bon Iver
2. White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes
3. Fake Empire - The National
4. Boy With A Coin - Iron & Wine
5. Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
6. Postcards from Italy - Beirut
7. Imitosis - Andrew Bird
8. Keep the Car Running - The Arcade Fire
9. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
10. The Park - Feist
11. Naked As We Came - Iron & wine
12. The Crane Wife 3 - The Decemberists
13. Flume - Bon Iver
14. The Dress Looks Nice on You - Sufjan Stevens
15. Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend
16. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire
17. Mistaken For Strangers - The National
18. Oh No - Andrew Bird
19. Pagan Angel and A Borrowed Car - Iron & Wine
20. Scenic World - Beirut
21. Sleeping Lessons - The Shins
22. Anthems For A Seventeen-Year-Old Girl - Broken Social Scene
23. The Well And The Lighthouse - The Arcade Fire
24. Blindsided - Bon Iver
25. Plasticities - Andrew Bird

<3

The Daily Grind.

Sooo about all those books I was going to read this summer. Errr...well it didn't really happen. I'm pretty damn disappointed in myself. BUT it stands to reason that I wouldn't have read as much because I was taking ORGANIC CHEMISTRY for heaven's sake! Anyway, here is the continuing list!

1. Dragonhaven--Robin McKinley : 342 pages.
2. The Graveyard Book--Neil Gaiman : 307 pages.
3. City of Bones--Cassandra Clare : 496 pages.
4. Psych: The Mind Is A Terrible Thing to Read--William Rabkin : 288 pages.
5. The Time Traveler's Wife--Audrey Niffenegger : 537 pages.
SUMMER:
6. Invisible Monsters--Chuck Palahniuk : 297 pages.
7. Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story--Christopher Moore : 304 pages.
8. A Dirty Job--Christopher Moore : 416 pages.
9. Pride & Prejudice & Zombies--Jane Austen and Seth Graham-Smithe : 320 pages.
10. The Tales of Beedle the Bard--J.K. Rowling : 125 pages.
11. Watchmen--Alan Moore, Dave Gibbons, John Higgins, Len Wein : 408 pages.
12. City of Ashes--Cassandra Clare : 472 pages.
13. Lavinia--Ursula K. Le Guin : 279 pages.
14. Perfect Fifths--Megan McCafferty : 255 pages.
15. The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters Volume One--Gordon Dahlquist : 464 pages.
16. Dead Until Dark--Charlaine Harris : 292 pages.
17. The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes--Neil Gaiman : 234 pages.
18. The Sandman: The Doll's House--Neil Gaiman : 227 pages.
19. Living Dead in Dallas--Charlaine Harris : 291 pages.

Total = 6,354 pages.

And now I'm back at Bryn Mawr...which means not much pleasure reading at all. BUT I have a kickass schedule so maybe if I get lots of work done I will actually have time for some reading on my own. =] A girl can dream right? As far as the schedule goes...it's pretty simple actually. Only three classes until sometime in October, then I'll pick up a fourth half-credit bio class at the H-fordd. Pretty sweet, right? Well those classes happen to be Genetics, Biochemistry, a Crusades history class, and the fourth at Haverford is Immunology. I'm pretty sure I'm still going to have one hell of a semester.

It's already started off with a bang due to unfortunate circumstances surrounding my stupid dorm room. Don't get me wrong...I really am beginning to be really comfortable and love it. Sure, it's not in the prettiest or my favorite building on our beautiful campus, but it's been home for the past three days and it's growing on me. BUT, there are those who would oppose me. Namely, my mother. We've had two fights about it now that have ended with me in tears. Today I called my dad for about an hour afterwards crying about it. I'm at the point where I'm just so frustrated about her opinions and judgments that I just can't take it anymore. I love her and I do respect her opinion, but if it obviously hurts my feelings and is making me cry...in front of my FRIENDS...I don't want that. I don't want to be mad and upset and crying all the time because my mom doesn't like my dorm room. Sure, she played the "But I AM paying for it you know" card, but if I'm happy...she should be happy for me and happy that I'm happy. If I can deal with it...she can. It hurts to know she'll never come spend time with me in my dorm room though [because she "hates" it so much]...whenever she visits or drops me off sometime it'll just be like a drop-off and run. Or we'll sit in the car for an hour...that's no way to be. UGH. I need to stop thinking about it and letting it affect me so much or I really won't be able to concentrate on my work. I just can't help being a people-pleaser in the respect that I want my mom to be happy with my decisions and what I'm doing with my life. And I don't want to be afraid of her picking me up to take me home tomorrow...which I now am. DOUBLE UGH. I haven't written this long a blog entry in a while. Usually it's when I have to rant about a subject...which I have obviously here, but I've also told this to three other people already. I guess it bothers me so much there's no way to let it go. TRIPLE UGH.

Anyway...classes are great so far. I'm really looking forward to and pretty much scared shitless for them. But I'm determined to kick-ass and get some better grades this semester. I was pretty disappointed with myself last semester, and even though I have really tough classes this time around I really want to not get bogged down and depressed all the time and breakdown for every little thing. Not that I didn't before...but I'm really going to try my hardest. I need to. GRAD SCHOOL. ACK.

In a more happy light...I love him. He always finds ways to make me smile and make me feel better. I don't know what I'd do without my boo. <3

It's shower and then reading biochemistry in bedtime!

ciao!

Inspiration. Or Lack Thereof.

I actually have incentive to blog now. Though I still wish I could go back to the artsy fartsy posts I used to do, but sadly I really haven't been feeling creative. Like...at all. The last creative thing I wrote was my self-diagnosis for my medieval healing class, but that still had to be all academic-y and use quotes and footnotes and ish. I wish I had the inspiration to write something that actually was meaningful and had weight to it. Not just something pulled together from facts for school. Ah well, I guess I really didn't inherit the creative gene from my dad. Sometimes I feel I do, but presently...not so much. And to think I wanted to take short fiction...EEKS.

The only way I can get out creativity is by creating CD mixes. Which I haven't actually done in a really long time. I tried making one for Nick for our anniversary/Valentine's day...but it never worked out. I got so stuck I couldn't think of anything else to add. But now I decided I not only want to really finish that, but also make mixes for Rachel for her birthday. I made them last year and I know she really appreciates them so I'm hoping I'll be able to do a good job. Here's what I have so far for one of them. I'd like to be able to get them done by Wednesday so they get to JMU for the weekend or something. Hopefully my workload won't hold me back. [P.S. The songs aren't in the final order yet either.]

Rachel's 20!
1. White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes
2. Brand New Day - Joshua Radin
3. Think I Wanna Die - Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
4. Half My Heart Beats - The Smittens
5. I Owe You A Love Song - Shiny Toy Guns
6. Miss California - Jack's Mannequin
7. Viva La Vida - Coldplay [I may change this]
8. Crack The Shutters - Snow Patrol
9. 5 Years Time - Noah And the Whale
10. The Heartbreak Rides - A.C. Newman
11. Falling Without Knowing - Tilly & The Wall
12. Maps - Rogue Wave
13. Don't Let Me Fall - Lenka
14. Glittering Clouds [Locusts] - Imogen Heap
15. In a Sweater Poorly Knit - Mewithoutyou
16. Temptation - New Order
17. When the Water Gets Cold [And Freezes on the Lake] - Herman Dune
18. Under My Skin - Jukebox the Ghost
19. You Found Me - The Fray [maybe?]

Help! Any other suggestions? This isn't really supposed to be a themed mix...which I usually like to do, but maybe I'll make a second one that's themed, we'll see.

My posts always morph into lists. I don't know why...
GOALS FOR THE WEEK:
[ ] survive fencing tomorrow hopefully without having an asthma attack of epic coughing proportions.
[ ] also survive fencing on Thursday.
[ ] pass my microbio quiz tomorrow.
[ ] NO SPENDING.
[ ] register for Rowan Organic Chemistry summer course. hopefully.
[ ] keep my room clean.
[ ] get all of my reading done for my medieval class so I can start thinking about the paper.
[ ] make CDs for Rachel.
[ ] study like mad for second microbio exam.
[ ] take microbio exam and ACE it. hopefully.
[ ] stay on top of all my work.
[ ] try to go to bed by midnight every night. eeps!
[ ] DON'T STRESS OUT. hopefully.

I think I've overused the word hopefully. I'm going to have to stop.
That's all for now I suppose. I'm tired and have a quiz tomorrow. JOY.

ciao.



He's really sick. I don't know if I'm just overreacting...which is highly possible. But I've said "I love you" in text messages to him a bunch of times and not once has he said it back...I am overreacting right? Yes. I'm being ridiculous. I hope. I want him to get better. I'm really worried. Especially because we really haven't talked at all today...UGH.