Oh, the Problems I Have...

I'm pretty sure it's about time I blogged again. I've been so busy it just hasn't been able to happen, which is sad. But my day from hell is over and even though it produced more thoughts of hell I don't actually have to think about them for a while. Though I'll probably vent about them on here.

So, things to look forward to:
1. Only 3 days of classes left in the semester!
2. Seeing my boo on Friday.
3. Phillies game on Saturday [thank you SO much Stephanie].
4. MAY DAY.
5. Phillies game next Saturday with the boo. <3
6. GOING HOME SO SO SOON! =D

And things still left to accomplish:
1. Summary Paper for Mad Cow Disease presentation [which is almost done!].
2. Meeting with Prof Truitt about final revision paper on Friday.
3. THREE MORE DAYS OF CLASS.
4. Self-scheduled final Chemistry exam.
5. Take-home Anthropology exam [due May 11].
6. Final 8-9 page revision/extension/crazy-ass reworking paper [due May 7].
7. I'd also like to send some letters to friends, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen.

So the day from hell:
Well, I had to take my microbiology exam last night. I took it from 1 to 4 in the morning. Which, retrospectively, probably wasn't the best idea, but I needed to get it done and I didn't really feel like I could prepare any more for it so I just took it. IT WAS AWFUL. And that's all I'll say about that. Then I needed to prepare for my mad cow presentation, which absolutely took FOREVER because I could not get it down to 8 minutes. I just had way too much information to fit into an 8 minute talk [I'm even having trouble now summarizing my poster into a 2 page paper! AH!]. So I was up really late trying to cut down the presentation. I ended up only getting 1 1/2 hours of sleep, maybe even less because I just kind of lay there for a while trying to think of how to cut down my presentation more. Then I woke up, took a shower, and ran through my presentation a couple of times, still trying to cut it down but could only get it to 9-10 minutes. Went to class. Didn't get to finish. I ran over time. It was so embarrassing. I was so nervous about this presentation, I was sweating up a storm. And I didn't even get to talk about my final topic at all. Not to mention the fact that my Prof scared me shitless and kind of made me feel really stupid...when I was hanging up my poster she said to me, "You haven't taken Orgo yet have you?" And I was like, "No, but I'm taking it this summer in a two month intensive course." And she goes, "Well, you realize you need Orgo for Biochem right? And Biochem is a lot of work. People think that they can breeze through the prerequisites to get to Biochem and then find they aren't ready." And that just left me shocked. I don't know. I like this professor a lot, but I can't stop thinking about how much that kind of hurt. I realize [with help from Joanna] that she is probably just looking out for me because Organic Chemistry is a hard course and the kind of course that will prepare you for the intense course that is Biochemistry, but I couldn't help but think that she thought I couldn't handle it. So that's part 1 of my problems.
Part 2 comes in when Joanna and I go back to her room before going to lunch. I signed up to potentially be a Bio lab TA next year, because number 1...I need a job, and number 2, I feel like it would look really good on a resume to actually have a job on campus that deals with my major. The problem rears its ugly head when Joanna finds that we got an email from the lab professor telling us to give our preferences for lab days. Of course there were a bunch of returning TAs so there was no guarantee we would get a spot, but we should put our time preferences down anyway. The lab times are Monday 1-4, Tuesday 10-1, and Tuesday 1:30-4:30, and Wednesday 1-4. I can't do ANY of those times with the schedule that I prepared for myself for next semester. Monday and Wednesday I have a History class that I am DYING to take from 2:30-4. I'm halfway towards a History minor and this is a 100-level course which I need, taught by my favorite professor. I feel like it would be a waste to not take the class. And on Tuesday I have Biochem [I mean we'll see if I even get in anymore] from 10-11:30 and the Biochem lab form 1-4. I had thought there would be a Thursday Intro Bio lab and that's when I could TA. I'm so depressed. I can't believe that I assumed that. UGH. Here comes part 3.
So, in thinking about the Organic Chemistry and Biochemistry dilemma, I realized that the higher level Biology classes I applied for at Haverford both require Organic Chemistry as a pre-requisite. Meaning I'll probably be lotteried out of the classes because I don't have the pre-requisite. So now I have to email the professors and basically beg to be let in. I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't get anything. It will basically have been pointless to have taken Organic Chemistry over the summer because if I don't get into any of those classes I might as well take Organic Chemistry at Bryn Mawr next year because I'll only have a history class in my schedule. UGH I HATE MY LIFE. Today was supposed to be a big relief and an amazing day because my presentations that I was uber scared for would be done and I only had this summary paper for Microbio due on Friday and then it would be an amazing weekend and then all I would have to do would be to survive finals week. But no. All of these things had to come into my head and make me even more depressed.
I just don't know what to do. I mean I know I really should email those professors for the Haverford classes, but other than that I guess I really can't do anything until the lottery results come out. It's just going to be even more nerve-wracking than usual. I can't believe how screwed I got in the way of classes at this school. And people wonder why I stress about choosing classes so much. It's because I have no effing luck at all.

Okay. I think that's enough venting. I need to finish this summary paper, which is now approaching 4 pages and is only supposed to be 2. Sigh. I guess I should try to look at the bright side: this weekend is going to be amazing. And I'm not going to think about work at all. Friday = Boo. Saturday = Phillies. Sunday = MAY DAY. And it's going to be a great one.

HAVE I MENTIONED THE WEATHER IS GORGEOUS?! It's made me really happy and has tried to improve my mood and did for a while until today. And sadly tomorrow it's going to be cold and rainy...very exemplary of my mood, but c'est la vie. What a long post. Also, I took that picture. =]

ciao!

Sleepless.

So far this week I haven't gone to bed earlier than 4 in the morning.

Why can't I sleep?

Why is there so much work I have to do?


UGH.

ciao.

Inspiration. Or Lack Thereof.

I actually have incentive to blog now. Though I still wish I could go back to the artsy fartsy posts I used to do, but sadly I really haven't been feeling creative. Like...at all. The last creative thing I wrote was my self-diagnosis for my medieval healing class, but that still had to be all academic-y and use quotes and footnotes and ish. I wish I had the inspiration to write something that actually was meaningful and had weight to it. Not just something pulled together from facts for school. Ah well, I guess I really didn't inherit the creative gene from my dad. Sometimes I feel I do, but presently...not so much. And to think I wanted to take short fiction...EEKS.

The only way I can get out creativity is by creating CD mixes. Which I haven't actually done in a really long time. I tried making one for Nick for our anniversary/Valentine's day...but it never worked out. I got so stuck I couldn't think of anything else to add. But now I decided I not only want to really finish that, but also make mixes for Rachel for her birthday. I made them last year and I know she really appreciates them so I'm hoping I'll be able to do a good job. Here's what I have so far for one of them. I'd like to be able to get them done by Wednesday so they get to JMU for the weekend or something. Hopefully my workload won't hold me back. [P.S. The songs aren't in the final order yet either.]

Rachel's 20!
1. White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes
2. Brand New Day - Joshua Radin
3. Think I Wanna Die - Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
4. Half My Heart Beats - The Smittens
5. I Owe You A Love Song - Shiny Toy Guns
6. Miss California - Jack's Mannequin
7. Viva La Vida - Coldplay [I may change this]
8. Crack The Shutters - Snow Patrol
9. 5 Years Time - Noah And the Whale
10. The Heartbreak Rides - A.C. Newman
11. Falling Without Knowing - Tilly & The Wall
12. Maps - Rogue Wave
13. Don't Let Me Fall - Lenka
14. Glittering Clouds [Locusts] - Imogen Heap
15. In a Sweater Poorly Knit - Mewithoutyou
16. Temptation - New Order
17. When the Water Gets Cold [And Freezes on the Lake] - Herman Dune
18. Under My Skin - Jukebox the Ghost
19. You Found Me - The Fray [maybe?]

Help! Any other suggestions? This isn't really supposed to be a themed mix...which I usually like to do, but maybe I'll make a second one that's themed, we'll see.

My posts always morph into lists. I don't know why...
GOALS FOR THE WEEK:
[ ] survive fencing tomorrow hopefully without having an asthma attack of epic coughing proportions.
[ ] also survive fencing on Thursday.
[ ] pass my microbio quiz tomorrow.
[ ] NO SPENDING.
[ ] register for Rowan Organic Chemistry summer course. hopefully.
[ ] keep my room clean.
[ ] get all of my reading done for my medieval class so I can start thinking about the paper.
[ ] make CDs for Rachel.
[ ] study like mad for second microbio exam.
[ ] take microbio exam and ACE it. hopefully.
[ ] stay on top of all my work.
[ ] try to go to bed by midnight every night. eeps!
[ ] DON'T STRESS OUT. hopefully.

I think I've overused the word hopefully. I'm going to have to stop.
That's all for now I suppose. I'm tired and have a quiz tomorrow. JOY.

ciao.



He's really sick. I don't know if I'm just overreacting...which is highly possible. But I've said "I love you" in text messages to him a bunch of times and not once has he said it back...I am overreacting right? Yes. I'm being ridiculous. I hope. I want him to get better. I'm really worried. Especially because we really haven't talked at all today...UGH.

New Layout on Life.

So here's a new layout. Well, just new colors really. I didn't feel like trying to find a fancy pretty layout like Jen's.

I'm way sorry for not blogging, but in response to my last post I did actually do a lot of things that I wanted. Let's see..

1. I want to go home. [check!]
2. I want to read at least ten books. [oops...didn't even get through one. sad...]
3. I want to relax and sleep. [CHECK!]
4. I want to spend time with my boyfriend. [check check check!!]
5. I want to visit and kiss and love my horse. [sadly no. i didn't get to see him which makes me really sad].
6. I want to visit Jen and Gillian. [check! i visited Jen hurray!]
7. I want to drive around in Hermes. [CHECK!]
8. I want to cuddle by the fireplace. [well...no.]
9. I want to play my guitar. [fail.]
10. I want to FEEL BETTER. [can I give half a check? I feel better, but I'm definitely still sick. yuck.]
11. I want warm weather. [well this was out of my control, but there were a couple of nice warm days.]
12. I want to drive around with the windows down and the sunroof open. [CHECK! it made me so so happy.]
13. I want springtime and flowers and green leaves. [again, out of my control. so no.]
14. I WANT TO GO HOME AND SEE MY WONDERFUL PARENTS SO THEY CAN TAKE CARE OF ME AND I CAN FEEL LOVED. [CHECK!]


So all in all. It wasn't a bad break. I didn't get TONS of homework done. But as I always feel, break is a time to relax. And I definitely did that. Anyway let's try to recap what I did this break so maybe I'll feel a bit accomplished. I went to work with my grandfather Monday and Wednesday, which was good because I got to get paid! Which in my current situation is always a good thing. Tuesday I went to the dentist [ick] and then drove to Bryn Mawr to spend time with Jen and Anna, which was really nice. The drive wasn't bad at all, I'm looking forward to hopefully doing it more often and hopefully having Hermes there next year! I went to Chipotle for the first time and it was absolutely DELISH. I'll be heading there with Jen again sometime I think. =] Thursday I went to work with my momma and did some filing and shredding for her, no money but she bought me a pretty shirt and flip flops later. We went out to dinner with Nick's sister at Bertucci's which was yummy yummy. Then Nick came over later that night and spent the night. Friday was a lazy day with my boo. We played Rock Band all morning then went out to lunch. We came back and watched the creepiest movie ever with my mom [Sibyll...shiver]. My dad made us chili for dinner. Boo and I watched TV with my mom then he had to go home. Sad. Saturday was pretty lazy as well. I watched movies with my dad/ did homework. Then I drove up to Cherry Hill to go see Watchmen with Nick, and his friend and his friend's girlfriend. It was a really good movie. Way too long probably, and I'm definitely going to have to see it again to fully understand it. Went to UNO's for dinner at 11:30 haha. Then drove home. And now it's Sunday. And I'm trying to get homework accomplished. I'm almost done my chemistry homework. Then I really have to do some reading and PACK. uck. I don't really want to go back to Bryn Mawr because I'm just really worried about classes this semester. But I know I have to buckle down and get things done. I have to keep encouraging myself and hopefully try to do as well as possible.

As far as the no spending thing for Lent goes...I've only spent money on food. And the toll to go to Bryn Mawr. That's good right? Haha, but things are OH SO TEMPTING. But I shall persevere!

I guess I should go back tot hat homework. Le sigh.

SPRING BREAK.

I want it NOW.
I don't want to be sick.
I don't want to have a midterm tomorrow.
I don't want to write a lab report.
I don't want to write a paper.
I don't want to go to Chemistry class.
I don't want to go to Medieval class either.
I WANT BREAK.
I want to go home.
I want to read at least 10 books.
I want to relax and sleep.
I want to spend time with my boyfriend.
I want to visit and kiss and love and ride my horse.
I want to visit Jen and Gillian.
I want to drive around in Hermes.
I want to cuddle by the fireplace.
I want to play my guitar.
I want to FEEL BETTER.
I want warm weather.
I want to drive with the windows down and the sunroof open.
I want springtime and flowers and green leaves.


Okay...so the last couple most likely won't be possible to achieve over spring break. But one can hope right?

ciao.

EDIT: Because my dad made me feel bad...I WANT TO GO HOME AND SEE MY WONDERFUL PARENTS SO THEY CAN TAKE CARE OF ME AND I CAN FEEL LOVED. =]
better?

UGH.

Almost everyone had classes canceled today except me.

And I'm still sick.

And unhappy.

And I don't like it.

UGH.





ciao.

Bliss-Out Time.

Unfortunately I can't listen to it now because I have to go to class.
BUT.
I made this playlist to help me fall asleep at night, but it also works as a wonderful chill-out-stress-free-no-worries-about-sickness-mix. And I love it.
Listen preferably on shuffle [considering all the artist names are alphabetical which annoys be a bit. =P].

1. Unwinding Cable Car--Anberlin
2. Scythian Empires--Andrew Bird
3. Keep the Car Running--Arcade Fire
4. Coffee and Cigarettes--Augustana
5. You Remind Me Of Home--Ben Gibbard
6. Congratulations--Blue October, ft. Imogen Heap
7. Anthems For A Seventeen-Year-Old Girl--Broken Social Scene
8. Wonder [Live]--Colin Meloy
9. Where There's Gold...--Dashboard Confessional
10. Grapevine Fires--Death Cab for Cutie
11. Red Right Ankle--The Decemberists
12. Brightly Wound--Eisley
13. Your Song--Elton John
14. May It Be--Enya [Lord of the Rings Soundtrack <3]
15. Your Hand In Mine [Goodbye]--Explosions in the Sky
16. Gatekeeper--Feist
17. On Your Porch--The Format
18. Boats and Birds--Gregory and the Hawk
19. Two Days in February--Goo Goo Dolls [EOAC version]
20. Cherry Tulips--Headlights
21. When The Water Gets Cold [And Freezes On The Lake]--Herman Dune
22. Miles Behind Me--Hotel Lights
23. Love And Some Verses--Iron & Wine
24. Sweet Baby James--James Taylor
25. The Fear You Won't Fall--Joshua Radin
26. Singing Softly To Me--Kings of Convenience
27. Mornings Eleven--The Magic Numbers
28. Cold December--Matt Costa
29. In A Sweater Poorly Knit--Mewithoutyou
30. Le Grande Sucrerie--Miou Miou
31. Au Fond D'Un Reve Dore--Nada Surf [there are accents...I just don't know how to do them on my computer. eeks!]
32. Go Places--The New Pornographers
33. Have You Forgotten--Red House Painters
34. More Adventurous--Rilo Kiley
35. One More Day Goes By--Some By Sea
36. Heart--Stars
37. Chicago [Acoustic]--Sufjan Stevens
38. I Was Married--Tegan & Sara
39. Sleeping With The Lights On--Teitur Lassen
40. Let It Rain--Tilly & The Wall
41. Bittersweet Symphony--The Verve
42. Living in Twilight--The Weepies
43. Piazza, New York Catcher--Belle & Sebastian
44. Paperweight--Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk
45. Into the West--Annie Lennox [Lord of the Rings Sountrack <333]

So there it is. Maybe I'll post more playlists on here. I love making playlists and maybe by posting them I can get more ideas. Because I've definitely had a mind block lately. Ah well. Time for Medieval Medicine. Maybe Prof Truitt can diagnose me. =P

ciao!